Life through my eyes..........

From there and till now.. the conundrum does go.. The meaning, holy cow, is unknown and how... Disappear requires an appearance at first..  Then gone with the wind as the smoke does burst So I thought too until I ruminated the word, Dis would mean undo, peel back what occured.. Once appeared how can it revert? It was there, one moment, time did it subvert? How can one undo their appearance?... Physics it defies against it's penance... So if we must define it, and be accurate, The appearance was over before our mind postulates. A transformation of cells a metamorphosis of sorts... Somethg that was here is now so gone... If the word doesn't fit no more, Did we dis-appear disappear also? From there and till now.. the conundrum does go.. The meaning, holy cow, is unknown and how... - the one who misses the rain.

Somewhere in the depths of darkness, On the roads of a town, I confess.. I made it a point to walk at night, stretch, Go around, get the vibe of a city slept.. I did duly ensure this, every place I went new, As all asleep, I went around like a bullet shot, pew. Roaming endlessly, in silence with sounds just a few, The occasional vehicle or frogs sitting in dew... But then one city I came called Weimar, In Germany it is and quite so far... The most unique experience of the night I had, So deep and dark in my mind I was glad... For this discomfort is what I was seeking... Reaching, aiming, hoping to be freeing... And in that night I chose a road, Which looked so dark, like black's shadow. I decided ill go with a torch in hand..  But never turn on unless an itch in plan.. And as I went down that road I wandered, Wondered in mind unknowingly pondered.. A break, a crack through the silence in my mind, Suddenly a million sights and sounds aligned. And the road pitch dark was the perfect ...

How do we define our experiences of life and their learnings? I believe in the kind of perseverences of the mind and it's yearnings... I believe, that while we have a whole to choose from, We are nurtured to take in a toll we can chew on.. Even if an elephant can be eaten only one mouthful at a time, Where we want to begin, defines our soul and it's mind... The perspectives we define can never truly be ours I believe, In retrospective we align as a purely compounded collective... So if original is something that is born of a void, Then even it needs the void, that it can't avoid.. So even originality needs a setting to be formed, So into what, in reality are we forgetting to be transformed...? For if we search for evil, the devils we shall find, Search for angels and upon god we fall on blind... Fight for animals and compassion do we see, Fight against cruelty and there the monsters do be... Then what forth a purpose shall we seek, For that determines what mountains we peak...

How do I tell you, that all I'm trying to be is far from what I am... That what I am is not what I can accept! That all that is in me like an onion, is to be peeled off.. that what I am is way down under.. and even then how much of me, in me, is me? Is that really even a choice I have? Is that a step that can be taken and if yes then should it? In the end I feel all I want to be is a sun total of all I have seen and liked.. but the paradox lies in that, if I have liked it, then is that truly that different from the me, that is in me, which is not me?! Wish I could simplify it! And maybe it is... And maybe in the chaos of all this complexity I will find the calm among the storm.. the pattern in the chaos.. the simplicity in this complexity... Until then I can only hope to hold on, move forward, keep maybe done distance, in a hope to see the bigger picture..  I seem to want it badly enough... Must be something good about it! And, along the way, create my own chaos to add to the patte...

To, Whomsoever it may concern, Dear friend, For all the struggles we have seen together! For all the mistakes we see each other make!... I am the happiest to realise I still have you around.. Even when I'm alone, and still when I'm lonely, I know for sure you're around! Even as I travel into the depths of my darkness, the calmness I have is primarily in knowing my hand is in yours... It is in knowing that maybe this is. Shared darkness, and that I may be giving you the same calm! Yet somewhere, off late, I realise a void inside, A crack rather, letting in the tide... Like I've begun to fill from center to out, With something unknown, something unthought! Yet a faith there is that from this I shall survive even if anew... And whatever may change in me, lots of few, I hope I have that hand to hold on to... And give calm into you, that I receive from you!! To my parallel universe, I speak unto thee... I love all that you are and all you can be!! - excerpts from the writing...

If it was at all important, Reasons are what keeps us workin... Known or unknown to us within, But deep within, we all have a reason to live. To drive our day & get through the slumps, To ride the wave & let go of the bumps. For all we do may not connect to it at first, But we are all driven with reasons of purpose. Maybe if we go realise and somehow actualise it, We can choose our tasks better to materialise it... The reasons for every task there be, Even ending life that should be carefree... With enough mundane tasks piling on each other, The light from our reason is muffled and bothered. And the further we stand from the reason internally, The quicker the darkness is the season eternally... But the solution too mostly is simply on the nose... Even the internal you has a light to guide like Pros ... And once that light is there,  There is no more black that's bare. However till then, enjoy the dark, For when you can't see, imagine the park... Make hay while the sun s...