The Void

 What is it with today?

My hand refuses to move or sway...

Nothing to do in work I feel,

Hoping and moping for the day to keel...

A night's sleep lost and this how I deal?

Or should I write 13 reasons why I dont heal?

Its something they show & present so real,

Within me I reach but like I have to steal...

Like it isnt part of my day to day ordeal...

Yet it doesnt feel like an outwardly frill...

Deep within, buried like the energy of a meal...

A peep akin to being out of body, surreal,

A look & delve, deep into my being...

Yet pulling me out just before I am freeing!

Leaving me yearning for just more seeing,

& Believing, trying and falling, never sustaining...

 A back and forth of living and persisting,

Disappointed of not breaking through the ceiling...

For in that little living, grows my heart which is seething,

Not rage, but love, despair for not relieving...

Self admonishing of the things i cant be avoiding,

A cycle so engrained, the inertia too much for breaking...

An anchor I search, so desperately looking,

That I grasp at straws that break under the loading...

Not their fault, I'm not at all scolding,

Just telling the world while I am still frowning...

I'm sure in all likeliness this is growing,

Part of the process, relentlessly sowing...

Yet the extent of despondency is truly harrowing,

like being taken to the edge just before throwing...


My mind it plays tricks on me... Sometimes I see a single colour, hue,

Sometimes its like I'm sitting in a set.. & eventually wondering what is this void I have fallen through!


- The one who misses the rain!

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